Definitions - #301 - #6 - How to find out what you “DON”T” know!!!

What a question !!! ….Whaddy’a mean find out what you “DON”T” know!!!!!
How do you do that?
How can you find out about something you don’t know anything about!!!
How can you ask for help if you don’t know what you need help “about”????
How can you get advice from your “guru” if you don’t know what to ask him???
If I don’t know …. I simply don’t know!!!! …..(You’re frustrating me!!!)

1. – Let me present a possible “successful alternative”…….

At the very least, you can explain your present dilemma to your “guru”. He can ask you questions until he’s sure he understands what you are trying to say. He “must” try to have a mutual understanding of what you are talking about! Can you, now, relate these simple facts to your “guru”. At least this IS something you CAN DO!!!! … Right???
Sometimes the mere attempt at explaining your dilemma in terms that another can understand is enough. You might have gained a new understanding about your situation by this simple exercise. Maybe you didn’t know “exactly” what you were thinking …or saying.

II. –However, here is what you accomplished ….

1. You and your “guru” can now attempt to have a “mutually understood exchange”, a conversation that is constructive because you have agreed on what you’re discussing.

2. Perhaps you have developed a question for him … namely ….What should I do about this? ….. What’s this all about? …. What are my “successful alternatives”? (Do you go to the Doctor and say …”Fix me up, Doc!” and don’t tell him what you feel like? After all this is not a game you are playing. You’re looking for help! Don’t you want to give him some information? )

III. – Here is what you need ……

1. You need a “guru” you can communicate with … someone who will question you about what you are actually saying (not what you meant to say) ….. someone who is trained to seek “mutual understanding” …. a “mutual definition”.

2. You need a “guru” who can help you express what you felt … “a successful alternative”, a new appreciation of the situation, a possible improvement, or (most importantly) if there is “nothing” you can do!!! (To know you can do “nothing” is as important as knowing if there is “something” you CAN do!!!!)

3. You need to know that you need assistance!!!! It’s difficult sometimes to try to understand everything by yourself. No one is going to eat you if you just try and listen and try to understand what another respected person’s idea is. You, too, must make an effort to question this other person so you can make sure you understand what he’s talking about. Don’t be in such a hurry to express your own opinions! After all, didn’t this conversation start with your desire to seek another person’s view? Didn’t you already have your own opinions? What have you gained if all you do is express your own opinions again? (Besides, the other person hasn’t the time for this useless exercise!)

IV. Perhaps the most difficult part of all of this is……
You must realize you need assistance.
You must realize this is NOT a criticism, or a deficiency in yourself.
You must realize that you do not need to defend yourself . (You have merely asked for another opinion!)
And, lastly, you can always disagree with what you’ve heard!!!

IV. – Please, please understand the difference between “repeating” what you’ve just heard or read; and, “understanding” what you’ve just heard or read!!!

A “Label” is no substitute for content or understanding!
Because you “name” it something does NOT add anything to my understanding!

“Volume” is no substitute for content or understanding!
Because you say it “louder and louder” doesn’t add to my understanding!

“Repetition” is no substitute for content or understanding!
Because you say it over and over again doesn’t add to my understanding!

Special Note:
As we discussed, “words” are important.
“Mutually defined and mutually understood” words are the ONLY meaningful way to exchange ideas.


“Is there a successful alternative?”