Personal - #501 - #35 - About “Persuasion” ( A Doxey email)

We can all use help and practice in the art of persuading people with whom we disagree. Of course, when we’re wrong about something, we need to realize that, too – this requires emotional detachment and reasoning skills, and unfortunately, depends also on the knowledge and the communication skills of the other person.
But even when the facts and logic are on our side, we still need to exercise care.

It’s never easy for someone to consider an opposing opinion, so providing one to positive effect takes skill. Such skill can be powerful, as some people with insane messages have been effective in winning converts – Hitler, Jim Jones, and their ilk are good examples.

The facts and reasoning are on the side of the abolition of government, but statistics are emotionally attached to the topic and they believe many falsehoods, such as that the Civil War was different from the American Revolution, or that the government should outlaw certain kinds of drug use.
During discussions, words fly around quickly, people get excited, and anyone can let his persuasion skills slip.
The bottom line:

Always use honesty, kindness, generosity, and an even temper. These things seem obvious, but it’s easy to err during a discussion. If someone says something stupid, their doing so creates an opportunity to be kind – "that’s a thought shared by many people" is a good response – better than the equally kind, but dishonest, "that’s a good point."

If someone insults you, one valid response that can defuse emotions is "it may or may not be true that I’m a ‘nut case,’ but whether I am doesn’t speak to the issue of whether we should be bombing Slobovia."
And if you’re smarter than your opponent, it’s best not to make that too noticeable. That’s the "generous" part; focus on the data and principles, and let your opponent reason to the conclusions himself. Make him feel intelligent.

The best way to keep someone interested in you is for him to learn to associate your presence with a boost in his self-esteem.
People like to talk about themselves, so ask your opponent about himself. When you later offer libertarian solutions for issues that impact him, you can tailor them to his situation. Thus, you’ve made him fond of you; you’ve made him think you’re a great conversationalist (because he got a chance to talk about himself); and you’ve given him ideas that seem plausible, as they strike near to his imagination.

Are such tactics manipulative or underhanded?
They are indeed manipulative, as are many of the actions we take with regard to others every day. Sometimes we’re aware when we’re being manipulative, sometimes not. It is certain that honesty, kindness, generosity, and emotional temperance, whether manipulative or not, are the morally right way to behave. Making someone feel better about himself while opening his mind to options he hasn’t considered, and may not have encountered before, is a good thing.

"Manipulation" is a bad thing only when dishonesty is a tactic, or when you have goals that conflict with your opponent’s being better off.