Personal - #501 - #18 – Never mind what you want… “What can you “contribute”?

Interesting question, eh?
Before you try to go out and find your “whatever’, don’t you think it would be a good idea and sit down by yourself and find out what you could “give to” a relationship?
What do you think you could “contribute”? What would you be willing to “contribute”? What “wouldn’t” you be willing to do?
Let’s make it more personal! Suppose you’re looking for a “long time” relationship……

What can you bring to the “party”?

Here’s a partial list of what you “want” or, “could bring” for your consideration…..

a. A constancy, an even temperament, a calmness, a sense of sporadic excitement, a volatile personality,

b. Intellectual intelligence; book learning; a profession; an educational background; “street smarts, a keen desire to learn; a “go along “ attitude,

c. A disciplined sense of where and when; a take it or leave it attitude; a “cool” approach to things; a sense of “up and down”, a “couldn’t care less” attitude;

d. A sense of responsibility; a “take it as it is” attitude; I worry; I don’t worry about things; “things will work out”; I plan for things,

e. I want a certain material standard; I don’t care much for material things; I expect to reach certain material goals; I take things as they come;

f. I am a “home” person; I don’t care much about the “home” thing; I want to travel; I’m happy to stay home; I take pride in my home; I’d rather live in an apartment; I like to entertain at home; I’d like to go out; I like to cook; I hate to cook; I expect to clean house, do laundry, etc.; I expect to have “help” to clean, launder, etc.; I expect to “share” household chores with you; I don’t “do” housework;

g. I want a family; I want a family now; I want a family soon; I don’t want a family; I want a large family; a small family; I want to stay home with my family; I don’t want to feel stuck in the house;

h. I want to keep in touch with my family; I don’t care much about keeping in touch with my family; I don’t want to support my family; I want to enjoy “your” family; I will always be polite to “your” family; I think that keeping the families apart, for the most part, is a good idea or, is a bad idea;

i. I’m good with sick people; I can’t stand sick people; I can always take care of sick people;

j. Religion is important to me; … is not important to me. I’ll go along “religiously”. We go separately as far as religion is concerned.
h. I want to be independent financially; I want to keep on working; I want to be a responsible “home” person; I prefer not working in the commercial world;

i. I am a “budget” person; I spend wisely but do not keep a record; I spend when I can afford too; I like shopping; I don’t shop often; I like to spend my own money; “My” money is “our” money; I want separate accounts; I want an allowance; I want my own credit cards so I don’t have to beg for anything; I want to share my spending with you;

j. I am a social person; I like to be around people; I’m more of “loner” type; I like to be active in Society; I have little interest in Society. Society is part of my life.

k. I am an active “sports” person; I don’t care for athletics, I hate watching sports T.V.; I enjoy sports T.V.; I am active in “exercise; I don’t “do” exercise;

l. I am very interested in my personal and clothing appearance; Clothes have little interest for me; I expect to “look good” all the time; I like to be clean and “casual” most of the time; I enjoy massages, and, hair and nail appointments; I only have beauty appointments when I have too;

m. I would like to be included in your business and business affairs; I leave the business affairs to you; I enjoy discussing business and politics and current events; These things don’t interest me; I like to read and write; I do not enjoy reading and writing; I need the “intellectual life”; I’m not particularly interested in the “intellectual life”;

n. I would like to discuss our “physical life”; I don’t think “our physical life” is an appropriate subject; I think our “physical life is important; I do not think our “physical life” is that important;

o. I do not argue; I do not mind a “good” argument; I know the difference between an “argument” and a “discussion”; I can be angry and quickly “forget it”; Anger lasts a long time with me;

p. I am anxious to share ideas with you; I have pretty strong opinions about things; I’m a “positive person; I’m a “ let’s discuss and consider” person;

q. I enjoy “jokes”; I don’t understand “joke humor”; I look for the “funny side” of things; I’m more serious;

r. I like to plan; I take things as they go; I look ahead; I live in the present;

So here’s a beginning list of things to discuss with your “intended”. This could be a guide to let you travel in the direction of “mutual understanding”. This could be a way to get you to decide whether the “trip” will be all that you thought it would be. This could be a guide to an important lifetime “decision”.

Perhaps you could share some of these thoughts and see what happens. Perhaps you have ideas of your own you wish to discuss and share. I hope you can make use of this approach to “mutual understanding” and much success!