Family - #401 - #08 – The shortcut to “Self esteem” and “Confidence”!

Do these words sound familiar?
What do they mean? What’s the difference? How do you get “them”?

Let’s start with a definition……..

“Self esteem” is supposed to be what YOU think about “yourself”!! Are you valuable? Are you as good as anybody else? Are you entitled to respect?
“Confidence” may imply that “you” think “you” can accomplish any thing you put your mind too! In essence, you can “do”…….

The main difference is between “you are” and “you can do”.

Here are some interesting questions:
1. Since “you” measure both things, what qualifies “you” to judge yourself?
2. Where do you find a “measuring stick” since it is all about “you”?
3. Do you compare yourself with “anybody, or, thing” to find something to measure against (compare)?
4. How will “you” determine if you have a “right answer, a right measure”?
5. What if your “measure” is solely based on what “you” think, what your “un-compared measure” is?
6. Could it be that an “un-compared result” has no real validity? … no real value!!!
7. Worse yet…. Could it be that you could rely on something that is, in truth, wrong!!!

In addition to this bleak prospect, “How do you teach this?”

Why would you even try?
Why would you attempt to give someone something that was going to be based solely on their “own opinion”? …..An opinion without comparison, measure, or validity?
Wouldn’t it be easy, under these circumstances, to give someone a false sense of “self esteem” or a false sense of a reason to be “confident”?

Indeed, couldn’t this be very harmful! Couldn’t this lead to further loss of whatever good feelings someone had about himself, when a situation arose where a comparison was unavoidable! Suppose you acted with “confidence” and had no real-world reason to be “confident”? Disaster might be right around the corner!! What a frustration, what a disappointment!! But you wouldn’t know why!!! That’s the real harm!!

Why would you even teach this?

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Wouldn’t it be better to teach people what “gives” you a feeling of “self esteem” …what “gives” you a feeling of “confidence”?