Definition - #301 - #57 - Rich man, Poor man.... and..."In between man"

There are at least three ways to look at different “material” human circumstances.
Let’s look at each of these three……

First “the Rich man”….

He wants to look for his future. He wants to “better” his material life, his social standing, his “material” security. He is not seeking “just a job”, “just a paycheck”. He wants to know whether this is a key to his future, his future financial and material well being. He knows he can’t count on anybody but himself for his future. He is a self-starter, a self-motivator, an “entrepreneur”. He has his own ideas about how things “ought to be”!
He has his own ideas of how “society” ought to work. In fact, since his “future” is potentially tied up to “his” society, He has his own opinions as to what “society” should be emphasizing, his own ideas as to what “society” should be attempting.
Are you “He”?

Secondly, “the Poor man”….

He wants to be “secure” in his present life. He wants to be “assured”…. by someone or something! He just wants a job…. a job that keeps him “secure”. He wants and needs a “paycheck”. He is never concerned about his future (it will “take care of itself’). Today is the important moment. The “I want now” is a symbol of his existence. He doesn’t care much from where his “wishes and wants” come. He just “wants”. It is of little concern “how he gets what he wants”, he just “wants”. He gets an immediate headache when asked “How is this possible?”. In fact he might get “defensive” or simply change the subject. He relies on someone else or something else to satisfy his immediate “wants or wishes”. He is definitely NOT a self-starter. He definitely relies on “someone or something” else as the provider.
He has his own ideas of how “society” ought to work. In fact, since his “future” is potentially tied up to “his” society, He has his own opinions as to what “society” should be emphasizing, his own ideas as to what “society” should be attempting.

Thirdly, the “In between man”…..
“Somehow it will all work out!”
“Let me alone, I’m already too busy; besides I can’t do anything about it!!”
“I’ll just “go along”!
“The “future” is too complicated. I do the best I can do!”
He has no particular ideas or opinions. He just wants to “go along”. He also gets a “headache” when asked about alternatives to what’s going on, or a better direction to take. In fact he might get “defensive” or simply change the subject. (Sound familiar?)
He might also strongly state his opinion….(reasoned or not). He is a “mixture”!
He has his own ideas of how “society” ought to work. In fact, since his “future” is potentially tied up to “his” society, He has his own opinions as to what “society” should be emphasizing, his own ideas as to what “society” should be attempting.
Are you “He”?


Well now what?… What do you do?

One simple thought, before anything else, is to acknowledge that there are at least three ways to look at everything!!! Three ways to derive opinions… three ways to seek directions…. three ways to seek “wishes and wants”….. at least three ways to make choices!!!!

How about “asking” yourself (OR others) first, which way they see themselves. This will determine, to a large degree, whether to continue the discussion or not!

Then ask “yourself”, “What do I want to get out of this discussion?” The answer may also determine whether or not to continue. Suppose I wish to know more about how the attitude of a “Poor person” works. What are his desires? Why isn’t he interested in the “How is this to be accomplished?”. It may NOT be your desire to influence this person’s (or group’s) ideas but to merely find out what they think the answers might be. It would certainly change your approach to the discussion!! Once you acknowledge that there are many ways to look at an idea, you can better absorb the answers you get.

If, by chance, you are looking to seek an analysis of your own present ideas, the discussion would also change its direction. If you failed to “first” attempt to evaluate the other side’s point of view, you may not get the analysis you are seeking. If you do, indeed, acknowledge the other parties’ previous stance, you can more meaningfully absorb the analysis of your own present points of view. Be careful!!! The “first” step is most important!!!

If, by chance, you are seeking to influence another’s point of view, “first” try to establish where they are coming from! Then you have a point of reference to start from! Influencing is a tricky business. It can rely on the other’s willingness, the other’s intellectual and emotional capacity! The warning sign “Is this possible? Am I about to enter a “no entry” zone? ”.

Just to try an example…..

The question of “someone’s future” has come up.

First… Do I even want to discuss this matter?
Second ….Do I wish to affect the outcome or do I just wish to be a “listener”?
Third …What is my opinion of the other person’s capacity to think, reason or even absorb my conversation?
Fourth ….Do I even want to spend the time and effort to even think about all these questions?

Then , and only then, after reviewing my own questions, can I react to the question.

Now, suppose I want to react and “influence”? ….. Now what?

Suppose I think that I can successfully exchange ideas?
Suppose I think I want to “influence” another. What do I do next?

Do I approach from a “Rich man’s” point of view, a “Poor man’s” point of view; or do I approach from an “In between man’s” point of view?
Do I discuss these alternatives in the beginning? Do I accept the “other’s” choice even if I feel that my influences will be jeopardized? …. I already have a “dilemma”!

Let’s say that I feel the “other’s” choice is not what “they” can understand. …. I, again, have a “dilemma”!
At this point I think that I better discuss “this” issue before I proceed.

Let’s assume we have a successful and understandable “mutual” discussion and I proceed.

I want the “other” to define what they think the word “future” means to them! I want their input. I want to understand their understanding of their concerns. Then and only then, can I begin to meaningfully address their concerns.
I think that more can be accomplished if good questions are asked, rather than giving statements of opinions. The questions can be formed in such a way that they lead to obvious conclusion by the “other”. When the appropriate time comes, I can make statements as to what “I” believe and why. This seems to reduce the normal “resistance” to an “I’m telling you …” versus an “I personally think…”.

Remember, I am trying to successfully “influence”……(Not change you!!)....

The “other” has to make the change!