Current - #201 - #03 - I’m at a loss as to…..

How to “even communicate”, or in fact, “whether to bother to communicate” with a

person, who has such a “meaningless value system! (“meaningless” at least to me!)


Should you just ignore someone whose “value system” is unlike your own?
Should you even try to find a mutual ground to start a “mutual” discussion?

If you want to take the time and effort, could you just sharpen your understanding of the other person’s “value system” and let it go at that; or, do you have to try to explain your own “value system”.
If you want to take the time and effort, is it of any value to you that you try?


Conclusion:

It all depends!! ……..

If you wish to remain in contact with the other person for any number of reasons; you may try to be “politically correct”, civil, polite, engaging, etc. and stay away from any discussion where a “value system” (what’s important to you) is involved. Jokes, sports, social chit chat, etc. may serve you well and THEN go to the golf course!!! You might as well stay home and “take a warm bath” if you think you can have a “mutual exchange” with someone whose values are directly different from your own. Stay away from any meaningful exchange…. It is fruitless and will only give you a stomach ache!

On the other hand, if you want to try and expose your own “value system” for their consideration, there are certain steps you must take…..
a) First, you must be sure you understand what the other person’s “value system “ is.
b) Second, you must try to find “common language” to make sure that any thoughts you have are “received” and “mutually understood”. There is no meaningful dialogue if people are using language that is not “fully and mutually” understood. Without it, you will engage in an exercise of “oral static” (noise)!! (Again, take a bath!)
c) Try to refer to the other person’s experience in your use of language and examples.
d) Lastly….Don’t be disappointed or angry if your mission fails! All you can do is try your best. You do not need to make an enemy or lose a friend if your experiment fails. Just realize that your relationship has become more restricted.

Try to decide what is “valuable to you” before you start….. or, as soon as you recognize a “chasm of difference”.